


Suffocate on Eternal Bliss

by pharaohfucker96



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: (only very shortly but hence the underage warning), Kusanagi Jin is on Lightning's side, Mind Sex, Other, episode tag (sort of), i think???, romantic, set after Lightning defeats Kengo (WHICH BETTER HAPPEN)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 03:28:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16802746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pharaohfucker96/pseuds/pharaohfucker96
Summary: “You detest humanity, don’t you.” It's a question, even though it's said like a statement. Nearly everything Lightning says is like that - an announcement, an unshakable truth, a steady rock. Jin will cling on to it, as long as he can, as long as Lightning lets him, because he loves it, the certainty of it, the strength.





	Suffocate on Eternal Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> [stares]
> 
> idk either, man, I was wanting to finally finish the last scene left from the WIP, but instead my brain decided to bang this out instead. I guess it felt the need to release it before Jin speaks next week and dashes my fantasy of him being a bitter, resentful Lightning-stan.

The biggest difference, the biggest  _ tell _ for him that he’s not in the real world, that his body is somewhere else, vegetating, useless carbon is that there is no lingering slow way into awareness, no dreamy half-state of fractured light, shuffling feet of nurses around him, his brother reading him a story he is  _ just _ on the verge of making out. 

There no “waking up.” Instead, it’s a snap into fully being  _ there _ , one minute no existence, suddenly all the existence in the world, no in-between.

He thinks it used to unsettle him, but he can’t quite remember, even though this shouldn’t happen to him anymore. Existing only in VRAINS - he remembers everything with perfect, crystal clarity as long as he’s awake, while the phases in between are pure nothingness, a Jin-less space. 

Maybe it’s because it’s a feeling, and a very human one at that – fear, uncertainty – that it’s getting eroded by being here. The thought comforts him, that maybe his time in the VRAINS is working to make him less imperfect, less at the mercy of emotions and flawed human desires and closer to something pure, something truly  _ good _ .

“Welcome back.” he hears Lightning say from somewhere off his left. It’s interesting, having a name for him now, after spending so long with him,  _ in _ him, around him, part of him. He wonders if he should be jealous or bitter that someone else came in and just  _ gave _ him that name, that he just accepted it. 

However, Jin would have never even considered  _ giving _ him a name, as if that’s his right, as if he  _ could _ . Maybe that’s why it’s okay - the name wasn’t given by a human, after all, but an AI, someone on his level, an equal.

At least he didn’t have to get used to calling him that - he doesn’t know what Lightning did, but one day (time, second, year) he was aware and knew that was what he’s called now. Possibly that would have confused him, if he hadn’t had five years of Lightning rearranging his mind, putting things in the right order,  _ improving _ him. 

“Lost in thought, as always.” Lightning mock-sighs from his right side now, fingers tapping. Jin knows he doesn’t expect a response, though, since he hasn’t been given control of his muscles or voice yet. 

“That’s fine, though I have some things planned today, for which I do need your input.” The words send a thrill through him - no matter how often it has happened, how much they have worked together, how often Lightning has  _ told _ him that he’s helped him,  _ contributed _ , it still gives him a sense of satisfaction that can hardly be matched. He can feel Lightning walking across his upper body, light taps, the feather stroke of God.

“Human sibling relationships are so intricate, don’t you think.” he says. Lightning often starts conversations in the middle. It makes him proud that now he expects him just to follow along, to not  _ need _ coddling.

It was different back then, the first time he made contact. When Jin had been “getting better” as the doctors said, even though nothing felt farther from the truth. The only thing that had happened is that his mind refused to keep him insulated, to keep him away, even though every interaction he had to have, had to be awake for was like nails on a chalkboard. Humans touching him, talking to him, trying to make him join them in pretending that we weren’t all utterly debased, broken, unsalvageable.

When Lightning had first appeared, bright and warm and so,  _ so  _ familiar, an instant source of comfort in a way only Shouichi had managed to do on some days, he’d thought he was an angel.

He turned out to be even better, because he was  _ real _ and he had a plan. 

“You detest humanity, don’t you.” It's a question, even though it's said like a statement. Nearly everything Lightning says is like that - an announcement, an unshakable truth, a steady rock. Jin will cling on to it, as long as he can, as long as Lightning lets him, because he loves it, the certainty of it, the strength.

“I do.” In the real world his voice would have been scratchy - he doesn’t know how long he hasn’t spoken, doesn’t have a sense at all for the time passing in between his consciousness. Instead it comes out clear and easy, as if it was never gone at all. 

“If, because of my plan many of them die, you wouldn’t care.” It’s not even asked as a question, but Jin still has his voice, so he answers.

“No.” Maybe this is why Lightning made him say it - because even he can hear the vehemence behind it, the assuredness. He wouldn’t care, it’s only  _ right _ . Humans are cruel and violent and ruthless - some better beings, some wiser things need to take control away from them, they can’t be trusted.

That it’s going to be Lightning, who is going to do it, who is going to take the world, take humanity and raise it up, advance it far beyond what they would have themselves be capable of - if Lightning let him he would weep for joy at the mere thought.

“And if one of these people was Kusanagi Shouichi.” It’s asked in the same tone of voice, the same half-curious, non-question and yet it  _ yanks _ him out of his thoughts. He didn’t notice when Lightning gave him control of his “body” back, so he can’t even try to suppress the instinctive  _ flinch _ , his head moving to Lightning, his face muscles doing...something.

Lightning clearly expected it, as he expects everything, because he’s close, very close, staring into Jin’s face.

“I-” he starts, because he needs him to know, needs to  _ say _ , that whatever Lightning wants, whatever sacrifices there need to be made, Jin will make them, but the words get stuck in his throat, even though he was so graciously granted them. Because he too is a unsatisfactory, detestable human in the end.

“See!  _ See _ .” Lightning crows delighted. “Is it so  _ fascinating _ .” At the sound of his happy voice, Jin’s insides settle a bit, because as disappointing as he is, as  _ human _ as he is, he didn’t disappoint Lightning, because Lightning after all understands - he has always seen right through Jin and never pushed him away.

“You want me to win, you don’t care about humanity, but your  _ brother _ ?” Lightning says walking up and down his chest, pulling up pictures of two people Jin only vaguely recognises, a smiling woman and a man with a scarf covering his face. “Him you can’t disavow, you can’t even lie about it.”

He walks up to his shoulder and sits down, leaning against Jin’s face. “You haven’t had a real conversation in nearly 10 years. You were both so young, before that. And yet.”

He’s quiet for a bit, but since he’s so close Jin can hear him humming a small tune, nothing he recognises, but soothing nonetheless.

“She cried, when I took his consciousness.” Lightning continues abruptly. “They didn’t know each other, not really. And she still cried.” 

The pictures disappear, replaced by a video, a 10 second loop, the woman sunk on the floor, tears streaming down her face, small sobs escaping her.

“What does she sound like to you.” Lightning says after a minute.

“She sounds like her heart is breaking.” Jin says instinctively. He wants to bite his tongue, because how trite, how  _ senseless _ . How he wishes he could be  _ better _ , that he could be more useful, more insightful. But he can’t think of anything else. 

She sounds like his brother when he came to visit him two years after Lightning found him, started to talk to him, to  _ explain _ . To make sure that he could take his consciousness and vanish into a pure stream of data, together with Lightning, instead of being forced to exist in the world that had done this to him.

It wasn’t an eventful day, nothing had  _ happened _ as far as Jin could tell, watching from the outside, liberated from his body.. There he was, unresponsive as always, there his brother was, optimistically chattering away, so sure his brother could hear him, when he suddenly faltered and just sat there, deep circles under his eyes, for at least an hour.

When he abruptly started crying, deep racking sobs, that shook his whole body, nothing like the quiet contained dignity shown on the screen. 

_ “You’re breaking my heart, little brother.” _

“Why do you think that is.” Lightning says. He’s draped over him now, one blink and he’s Jin’s size, cradling him from the back, a great eye staring at him from only a few centimetres away.

“Because she loves him.” he says and can hear the embarrassing scratchiness in his voice, knowing it’s not a fault in the programming - it’s him. ( _ I love you, please come back.) _

“Ah yes, human love.” Lightning doesn’t have a mouth, not in general and definitely not like this. And yet, Jin can tell he’s amused, the tone of his voice and the playfulness of his limbs cradling Jin, his essence wrapped around him in shifting inhuman forms.

“So resilient...” Everyone else always called love beautiful. He likes it better the way Lightning talks about it, like a science problem he hasn’t quite worked out. 

“It leaves you broken, yet makes you strong.” he says, before the clip gets replaced again, the woman’s face contorted with rage, while she throws a punch that manages to hit both Jin’s body and Lightning. 

“Maybe I  _ should _ try to talk more to Ai about this, he seems to have an unhealthy fascination with it, but I’m starting to see why.” Jin is still staring at the footage, outrage filling him, because how  _ dare _ she, Lightning was trying to make things  _ better _ , working to  _ save _ everyone.

“She needs to be punished.” he bursts out,  _ interrupting _ Lightning. He can feel his shock in the way the body around him goes completely still, the way it does when Lightning isn’t thinking about appearing more natural, more like a living thing.

He wants to apologize and  _ can’t _ , because what would he say, there is nothing—

“Do you love  _ me _ , Jin.” It’s whispered in his ear or maybe floated directly in his brain, it’s  _ intimate _ . Lightning rarely uses his name and Jin understands it as the honour it is, to be seen, to be  _ called _ , to be something that special to someone so grand.

His answer comes out of him on a breath, his vocal chords shivering with his delight in a way his mundane human body could never achieve. “Yes.”

Lightning laughs, the limbs  _ tightening _ . “Oh, you truly are a marvelous puzzle.” 

Before he can even comprehend this, can even truly feel the rush of happiness, every cell in his body is suddenly alight with sensation, a scream tearing out of him.

“Do you think you are feeling this more, because you love me.” he half-hears, but he barely comprehends, because it’s too much, too sudden, too intense to be called true pleasure.

Lightning seems to want an answer, because he dials it down a bit, to a thrum that leaves him panting, but able to form at least some thought. 

“I- I- I don’t know.” he gets out, trying to keep down his moans, trying to stay coherent,  _ useful _ , for whatever experiment this is. Lightning has learned, over the years, what buttons he has to press, how to give him pleasure or pain, in the exact doses he wants to.

How easy it is for him now to put Jin back together after he purposely breaks him, when it used to take him weeks in the past.

“Mhmm, it is true, you have not done this with anyone else, so how could you know the difference. Maybe-”

“NO!” he bursts out, because just the  _ thought _ of letting someone else do this, letting someone else touch him, make him - it disgusts him, he nearly wants to gag, nausea mixing with the pleasure.

He can’t even feel ashamed at having been so rude as to interrupt him, Lightning knows he is weak, has always been weak and yet he is here, surrounded by him, allowed to drink in his presence.

“Alright.” Lightning says and his voice sounds warm, almost affectionate and that more than anything, sends him suddenly over the edge. 

\------------------------

He shuts Jin down again, because he wants to work a bit on the next part of his plan and he does not need him.

Strictly speaking, he did not  _ need _ to have this conversation with him either, but for some reason his thought had kept going back to Ghost Girl, the purity of her rage.

He enjoys surprises, the unpredictable, used to visit Ai during the day, because he knew that he could never foresee what he would do. It brought him joy, “brightened up his day” as the human expression goes.

But for now he’s on a mission to succeed and for that the unpredictable could not be tolerated. So while it delighted him personally, he needs to understand, to analyse, so that next time things would go according to his calculations. 

He finds himself glancing over at Jin’s body, arranged as if he were sleeping, wondering what he would dream, if he could.

He shakes his head, because this way lay madness. Attachment. Becoming too much like a human, the way Ai and Flame had.

Maybe he should keep himself from calling back Jin’s consciousness too often, from turning him on, just to talk or experiment. In the past, he could justify it by Jin being his only option of interacting, but he has Bohman now. He has Windy and even Haru. And yet. 

He supposes they were made from human origins and just like them they formed patterns, created habits, became “used to things.” He had gotten used to Jin, to talking to him, influencing him, molding his mind. 

It was an experiment, nothing more. He’s not like Ai forming easy attachments, or Flame always trying to see the beauty in flawed things. He has just - almost accidentally - managed to create someone who so effortlessly gives him what he requires, who he has molded to  _ fit _ , that he’s hardly like a human at all.

But Lightning wont forget that he  _ is _ , and he’s never been sentimental, even with his fellow Ignis. 

Jin is no danger to him at all, he thinks and turns him back on.


End file.
